Courage turns into Confidence when you do the things you think you can not do.
And that means being who you really are
— even when who you really are right now might make others a little uncomfortable.
So let’s think about that idea for a moment.
Do you ever worry that if you showed the world who you really are, or told someone what you really thought – they might run screaming out of the room? Or that they might look at you like you’ve grown an extra head?
I see this in my office all the time.
Someone will gradually start to tell me about a few problems they’re having, usually with important people in their lives. They’ll tiptoe in to a small complaint about their otherwise great mom or incredible husband or really sweet coworker….
The words come faster and easier as they begin to relax, and the strength of their frustration begins to show. Tears may come, as they allow themselves to speak – and feel — the truth of what’s bothering them, sometimes for the first time ever.
Then – they freeze. Their eyes widen, they give me a startled, worried look and say something like, “I’m sorry. I don’t want you to think…” (some terrible thing about their otherwise great mom or incredible husband or really sweet coworker.)
I tell them I don’t, but the truth is it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what I think – it matters that they’re being honest in that moment.
It matters that they’re allowing themselves to say out loud that there’s something going on in their lives that They Don’t Like. And what a startling experience that is for so many of the women I see!!
I really want you to work on this, because I know how common this is -and I know how it holds you back from being, dare I say it?
All that you can be. :))
In small ways, each day, I want you to look for ways to practice telling the truth, just the simple truth about what you think or how you feel.
And no – I don’t mean you throw tact or diplomacy out the window.
But I do mean saying No when you feel no, and saying Yes when you feel yes.
And yes, you might make someone uncomfortable.
If you’ve been the Ultimate Nice Lady for a long time, folks may well wonder what’s gotten in to you. They may think you’re just going through a phase, or perhaps you just need a little rest.
You might decline an offer for lunch, say no to a volunteer opportunity, or – shock!– politely disagree with your boss at a staff meeting. Sure, they’ll look at you funny.
Begin to enjoy the delicious sense of freedom that comes with being a woman who speaks her mind. Allow yourself to enjoy the sensation that comes with surprising people! Yes, it’ll scare you at first. Yes, it’ll startle them too. But remember:
“Those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter.”
-FDR Advisor, Bernard Baruch
Let’s call this Baby Step #2.
Here’s your homework for today. Just TODAY. Look for an opportunity to say one thing that you would normally not say, something that will surprise people around you – but that is completely and totally true. One thing.
What is it? Share your story with us below so that we can learn from each other, and draw strength from each other.
What one surprisingly simple, yet startlingly honest thing will you say today?
Want to get in the loop to know about our next Secret Adventure?
Tell me so in your comment below and I’ll be sure you get an invitation!
Photo Credits: twm1340, fr. Dougal McGuire, on Flikr