The Power of Inner Silence: Why Your Presence Matters More Than Your Method | IP 209
What does it really mean to be fully present with your clients?
As healers, we spend a LOT of time mastering techniques and promising new methods, pursuing certifications and figuring out new ways to help people feel better.
And all of that matters.
But there’s something even more foundational underneath all of that, something we can easily lose sight of: our ability to slow down, quiet our own minds and really see the human being sitting in front of us.
My guest today is psychotherapist, writer and fellow LCSW Lex Santí. Lex is developing a new psychometric framework called AMI—Acceptance Motivation Inquiry—designed to help clinicians better understand a client’s motivation for therapy and their relationship to the problem they’re facing.
But our conversation became about something bigger than the framework itself.
In this episode, you’ll hear…
- Why moving too quickly – and assuming you already understand what’s happening – can cause real harm. (Speaking from experience…)
- What Lex calls “inner silence,” and how your relationship with yourself can impact your ability to be truly present with anyone else.
- How understanding and tracking AMI’s four categories (Seekers, Survivors, Skeptics and Stoics) can help us think differently about the people sitting across from us.
- Why meeting clients where they actually are matters way more than getting them where we think they should be.
We explored the seduction of methodology, the surprising problem with our “best” clients, what AI can (and cannot!) replicate about human connection, and the extraordinary courage it sometimes takes just to walk through your door.
There is nothing quite like being fully seen by another human being.
And as our tools get faster, smarter and more sophisticated, I believe our ability to offer that kind of presence is going to matter more than ever.
So listen to this one with your clinician hat on.
And the next time you sit down with a client, see what happens when you quiet your own mind, stay curious…and let them show you who they really are.
~Wendy
P.S. I’d love to know what this brings up for you. How does presence show up in your work? Drop me a note at [email protected] and share your thoughts. I’d love to hear from you.
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TODAY’S GUEST
Lex E. Santí, LCSW, is a psychotherapist, novelist, and founder of A Key Therapy in New York state. He has been in private practice since the early days of COVID-19, helping adults navigate anxiety, life transitions, relationships, and questions of meaning through mindfulness, narrative therapy, and Acceptance & Motivation Inquiry (AMI), a framework he developed to support lasting change. He is the author of multiple published books, including a novel, and previously worked as a therapist at Family & Children’s Service of Ithaca and Cornell University. Lex is currently pursuing his Doctor of Social Work (DSW) at the University of Kentucky.
Learn more:
A Key Therapy
Lex Santi's Website
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MENTIONED
- AMI — Acceptance Motivation Inquiry (New protocol being developed by our guest.)
- AAIT — Acceptance and Integration Training / Melanie McGhee
- Motivational Interviewing
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
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