How to Be a (Really Tired but) Very Good Girl

I’ve had a lot of clients lately who have been Very Good Girls.

And frankly, they’re a little tired of it.

(Thank heavens.)

I do a lot of different things in my work – guiding women through everything from how to grow their business to how to take better care of themselves to how to get through a zip-line tour.

But through it all, what I’m really doing is teaching them to believe in who they are, to  realize they have a right to be happy, and to treat themselves with as much respect as they treat others.

Sounds easy. Usually isn’t.

So I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a Good Girl.

Here’s a few things that seem to fit, based partly on my own experience, and partly on what I see soooooo often in my coaching and counseling practice.

See what you think.

Here’s 29 Ways to Be a (Really Tired but) Very Good Girl

1. Help take care of your little brothers and sisters.

2. Help them get dressed in the mornings, get their teeth brushed and their school supplies ready.

3. In the evening, help them finish their homework and get ready for bed

4. Help your mom with the dishes, the laundry, and the housecleaning.

5. Do your homework every night.

6. Make very good grades.

7. Always do as you’re told by your parents, teachers, or any other authority figure.

8. Never question what they say. Never complain.

9. Get a part time job as soon as you’re old enough to do so.

10. If money is tight, give some of what you earn to your mom.

11. When arguments break out among your family or friends, do your best to smooth them over.

12. Pay very close attention to the feelings of everyone around you.

13. When you sense someone’s upset, do your best to calm them, make them feel better.

14. Make the men and boys in your life feel especially important, because you know they really need that.

15. Never question them. Never show them up. Never be better at something than they are.

16. Never get mad.

17. If someone mistreats you, try to be better, so they’ll be better.

18. Do your best to earn scholarships, so you can go to a good school and make your parents proud.

19. Volunteer at your church, the Red Cross, the local shelter, and the food pantry.

20. Hide your own feelings, no matter how strong they are. Always hold them in.

21. Never make anyone else uncomfortable.

22. Work harder than anyone around you. Make every minute count.

23. Be happy with a pay check that’s 20% less than the men you work with, because after all, you love your job, right?

24. Don’t worry when one of those men takes credit for your idea. Remember #14.

25. Always put your husband first, your children first, your church first, the elderly couple down the street first.

26. Never, ever, under any circumstances, put your Self first.

27. Never, ever, under any circumstances, ask for what you want, much less insist. That could be seen as selfish.

28. Remember that Good Girls are never Self-ish, because to do something for themselves might violate #21.

29. And always, always follow #16.

Does any of this fit for you? What did I miss?

_{Photo Credit: by Moyan Brennan on Flickr}