Tag Archives: intuition

Allowing Your Word to Find You

It’s your word.

And it’s all you need.

ONE word to lean in to, work with, listen to, learn from – for the entire year.

One word to guide you and your business into what you are called to Be over the next year.

One word to use as your North Star, as you navigate your way through what are often murky entrepreneurial waters.

And whatever it is, it’s looking for you.

When I first learned about this practice myself, I didn’t really understand it. I liked the simplicity of it…but had no idea how to find ‘my word’, nor how powerful that word would become.

So at first, it was just about logic.

I carefully considered my business goal for the year, and chose words to fit that.

That first year, it was “Deliberate”. I wanted to consciously and deliberately grow the business I had (back then) in a way that was profitable, manageable, and good for those it served.

And I did spend that year working on systems, but the ‘deliberate’ act that defined it was something else entirely. At the very end of the year, I made a significant investment (that is, a terrifying and exciting leap) into myself and my business that I’d never made before by hiring the coach I have now.

That was a big, scary, step – and definitely a ‘deliberate’ action.

But it sure wasn’t what I expected when I chose that word. Continue reading

One Magic Word That Will Change Your Life

magic-wordMy life turned upside down a few years ago. 

I found myself in the midst of an unexpected transition, an uncomfortable in-between time, when I knew what had been but had no idea what was to be.

Ever felt that way?

I’d just finished a term in public office where I poured everything I had into serving my community. I lived and breathed that work for four unbelievably intense years. And I loved it.

But when that ended, I was lost. It was as if I’d been pushing up a long, steep hill, eyes to the ground, carrying a weight that was worthy but so heavy… And suddenly the hill leveled out, the weight disappeared, and I looked up for the first time in days, not quite sure where I was.

I was disoriented, at loose ends, and had no idea what to do next.

And with a successful business, that I’d run for years, on life support, dying from neglect.

So I threw myself into rebuilding, and focused on doing what I knew how to do to breathe life back into it. I set up a super-simple business plan with a year’s worth of goals – then met them all within two months.

I was still restless.
Continue reading

Why Your Beliefs Matter to Your Business

Roots - EbelienWhat does your business stand for?

In other words, what are your core principles, and how do you communicate them to your peeps?  

I know. It’s a weird question… but it’s one I want you to think about.

When you started your business, you weren’t thinking about beliefs. Most likely, you just wanted to get paid. Income was everything, and building up a steady stream of customers was paramount.

In fact, getting your business off the ground probably felt a bit random. Chaotic, even.

But over time, you will find that certain beliefs, principles or teachings become a theme for you.

You’ll find yourself saying the same thing to clients over and over. When you’re telling friends about what you do – and why you do it – you’ll return to a key story, phrase or belief that you hold dear.

In fact, when you speak from your heart about what you do, you’ll quickly come back to your core themes without hesitation.

Those beliefs should drive your message…

…because when you identify those themes, you can be more intentional about using them in your business.

In other words, what are the core principles on which your business is built? What are the core beliefs on which you stand as the owner and creator of this beautiful work?

Figuring this out will help you in two really important ways. Continue reading

One Magic Word That Will Change Your Life

 

magic-word

My life turned upside down about three years ago. 

I found myself in the midst of an unexpected transition, an uncomfortable in-between time, when I knew what had been but had no idea what was to be.

Do you know what I mean?

I’d just finished a term in public office where I gave everything I had to serving my community. I lived and breathed that work for four unbelievably intense years. And I loved it.

But when that ended, I was lost. It was as if I’d been pushing up a long, steep hill, eyes to the ground, carrying a weight that was worthy but so heavy… And suddenly the hill leveled out, the weight disappeared, and I looked up for the first time in days, not quite sure where I was.

I was disoriented, at loose ends, with no idea what I was supposed to do next.

And with a successful business that I’d run for over 15 years on life support, dying from neglect.

So I threw myself into rebuilding, and focused on doing the things I knew how to do to breathe life back into it. I set up a super-simple business plan with a year’s worth of goals – then met them all within two months.

I was still restless.

So I started following life and business coaches across the country. I began thinking about the power of mindset, about setting intentions, about creating the life – and business – I wanted to create. I knew there was a larger way I could serve the world, if I could only figure out what that service would look like.

Then, not knowing what else to do…

…I just began to say Yes.

Yes to any opportunity, guidance or whim the Universe tossed my way.

YES to a style of eyeglasses I would NEVER have chosen, just because the sweet guy behind the counter suggested it.

YES to the EXACT car that I’d been looking for in three states. It popped up on a rainy Saturday afternoon; I brought it home on Monday.

YES to last minute travel, when my sweet friend and colleague Melanie McGhee invited me to Spark & Hustle. With TWO day’s warning, I rearranged everything in my life to make it to this intense 3 day conference in Atlanta, a decision that changed my life.

YES to the inspiration that struck like a lightening bolt while there, an almost physical shock of energy that told me I was to guide, encourage and teach women through the medium of travel.

It hasn’t stopped since.

I continue to say YES to opportunities that scare me to death and challenge me to grow in ways I could not have predicted. I am clearer about who I am to serve, and the ‘how’ is emerging from the fog as well. Suddenly, friends, coworkers and solopreneurs are asking (pushing!) me to coach them through roadblocks in the growth of their businesses.

Breakthroughs are happening. Incomes are rising. Health is improving.

Confidence is pouring into them…and I suddenly realize that I am living my life’s purpose.

And the Gifts continue to come.

Last weekend, a friend in Florida invited me to come see her. “You’ve got a place to stay any time you want to come!”, she said.

I wrote back that when I am doing what I am called to do,travel will come to me easily and effortlessly, and I’ll come to see you just because I want to…and because I can.”

And literally, AS I typed those words, I received a text from another friend, offering me a trip to California, to play in the woods and the water, for the cost of a plane ticket.

Like, in the same physical space and time.

There is much more to this story, of course. My own Courage to Confidence work is unfolding, as I move back and forth between power and fear, confidence and doubt.

Yet I am learning to trust what I want IS possible, that the Universe is there, ready, waiting, offering Abundance if I am clear about what I want, and if I can just…

…say Yes.

So here’s my point.

It’s true that many of us need to set better boundaries in our lives, saying no to people and energies that are not healthy for us.

But sometimes, sometimes, the challenge is not about pushing something away, but about welcoming it into your life. Sometimes, when opportunities and nudges — from something greater than you — are at work, amazing, AMAZING things will happen…

…if you just say…

Yes. :)

Photo Credit: Nick Photography on Flickr

WARNING: These people may be TOXIC to your (mental) health.

Danger

The other day, a good friend told me about her decision to let go of a less-than-healthy relationship. Though she cares deeply for a certain fellow, she’s begun to see that he has a remarkable ability to rain on pretty much any sunny day that comes along.

He’s throwing away something that could be so good for both of us, but he won’t accept compliments, praise, help, or – dare I say it – love from anyone…and since that’s his choice, I don’t try to stay in contact now. I deserve so much more than that.”

YES! She does!

I told her that I have a saying.

Far be it for me to take Misery away from someone who clearly enjoys it so much.”

Now, don’t get me wrong. Sometimes it’s depression that leads someone to push joy away with such persistence. And when that’s the case, professional treatment really CAN make all the difference in helping someone find their way to recovery.

But sometimes it’s something else entirely: a personality style, a world view, a stubborn desire to cling to an old worn way. Sometimes, folks, as crazy as this sounds…

Sometimes, they CHOOSE to be miserable.

And no, they don’t see it as a choice. If you told them that, they’d say you were crazy, that you don’t get it, that you don’t CARE.

That’s not true, though, is it?

I told my friend that I was sorry to hear about her fellow, but I applauded her conscious CHOICE to take better care of herself. That’s the part she has control over, the only part, actually, and I am genuinely proud of her for figuring that out.

But for so many women who intuitively nurture – call it maternal instinct, caregiving, or just plain kindness – these people are super seductive, aren’t they?

They pull us in with a hint that perhaps WE can make them better, WE can show them how much happier they could be if only… WE could be the ONE who makes all the difference for them.

Uhmm. NO.

In fact, if we’re not careful, their misery might be contagious.

Dangerous, even.

I was reminded of that when a client of mine told me about an experience she’d had with a good friend that was startling in how SUBTLE, and how destructive, it was.

Those two have been best friends for years. They worked together for a long time, take vacations together, share the same sense of zany humor. Their’s is the kind of friendship that only evolves over decades of shared life experiences.

So every now and then, her friend will come to stay with her for a few days, maybe a week. They have a nice long visit; they play, laugh, shop, talk. In short, they ‘hang out”, and they’ve done this off and on for years.

But even good friends can undermine a Courageous Woman’s confidence.

My client has a group of foster children in her neighborhood that she’s taken under her wing, much like a favorite aunt might do. She’s been good for them, and they’ve been good for her. So when her friend came to visit, they went shopping for a few things. My client needed a new pair of khaki pants for her job, and she wanted to buy some Christmas treats for those kids.

She wrote to tell me about her experience.

[She] found little faults with everything I did last week, from the pants I bought for work to the candy I bought to put in the kids’ Christmas boxes…

“Well, they do look like men’s pants, but the women’s look the same way and these fit better…if you want to wear men’s pants…” about my khaki pants…the only pair that fit…

“The kids are going to have rotten teeth because of all your candy…” When they live on fast food and candy day in and day out… “But, then you’ve never been a mother, someone has to do the right thing.”

It was a couple of dozen silly little Christmas candies…

I could see it happening. I could feel myself having to be defensive about…my desire to give the kids something that will make them happy…and I fought it.

It worked anyway. When she left on Friday, I came home so depressed that it took several hours to work back out of it…

It had actually been a GOOD week. They’d had fun; laughed a lot, like always. So it took a while after her friend left before she realized what had hit her, why she felt so bad.

So this is my warning to you, Courageous Women.

Beware the power of poisonous people.

And know this: poison often comes disguised as helpful language.

It may be said:

“for your own good”

  or “just a little advice”

  or they were “just kidding”

  or “just trying to help”

or “you’re just too sensitive” because…

they “didn’t mean anything by it…”

…but it’s poison, none the less. 

And it’s LETHAL — to our dreams, to our sense of Self, to our potential, to our contribution to the world. 

It’s lethal to our Confidence.

So I only have one thing to say to you about this.

Don’t let it in.

Ok?

Now, how about you? Have you had this experience?

How have you handled it?

Share it with us in the comments below!

 

*****

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Tell me so in your comments below and I’ll be sure you get an invitation!

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Courage to Confidence Year End Celebration on Dec. 2.

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*****

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Photo Credits: Shawn Carpenter (spcbrass) on Flikr