“Oh that’s B.S., and you know it!” my friend exclaimed.
Her lips were tight. Her voice tense. And there was a fierceness in her eyes that startled me.
I have a lot of friends who speak their minds, and I’m used to them coming from the blunt end of the interpersonal spectrum.
But this was different. I knew she was speaking from love – but for a second, I thought she was mad.
She was frustrated – and determined; determined to get me to see something I just couldn’t see.
She wanted me to see that my business was calling me to grow.
Earlier that day, I’d spoken briefly on stage at a coaching event we were both attending, and it had gone well – as it often does. So well, in fact, that folks kept coming up to me afterwards to say how much I’d helped them.
“I can’t tell you how much it helped me to hear you…” I heard over and over again. (In fact – that happened throughout the entire three day event.)
Yeah – that’s me on stage in that picture. You can’t tell, but I was having fun right then.
And at dinner that night, friends kept saying that I “really, really, really” needed to be speaking more. On a national stage. Like, a lot.
“But I don’t know how!” was my whiny, pitiful, playing-small response. How to market. What to speak on. How to get the gigs.
How to just get there.
And that’s what really got Rhegina.
“Oh that’s B.S., and you know it!” she said (among other things) all the way through dinner.
We need friends like that, you know; friends who call us on our stuff, even when it makes us squirm.
And I did some of both.
And to top it all off, in my head I could hear the words I say to my clients all the dang time.
“The ‘how’ is not the problem. It never is. The problem is giving yourself permission to do what you wanted to do anyway. Once you’ve done that, you’ll figure out the ‘how’.”
Oh the irony.
I thought about that yesterday, when I spent the day working 1:1 with one of my Gold clients. Some of our best work together happens during their VIP Strategy Days, where we spend an entire day together focused totally on their business and getting clear about where they’re headed next.
It’s not unusual to hit a few internal roadblocks there, either.
So when I challenged her to step more fully into her power, to own her value, and let it reflect through her pricing and her packages, she got a little squirmy too.
“You know – I don’t let just anybody talk to me that way…” She said, and giving me the side eye as I pushed her to see the ways that she, too, was playing small.
I could only grin.
I knew this was good for her. I knew it was making her think. And I knew that if she would only let herself to go there, she had a breakthrough coming soon.
How do you know when your business is calling you to grow?
When the same message keeps coming back to you over and over again.
When the soul of your business is challenging you to step up, and it’s scary. When you feel that fear.
And you know it’s right.
That was certainly the case for me. Every time I’d ever given a talk, I’d gotten outstanding remarks from those in the audience. And I’d been getting messages for a while that it was time to broaden my reach as a speaker.
And that’s certainly the case for my client, who has literally had people thank her for saving their lives, and yet under values her work by under pricing her services.
In the week after my push from Rhegina, I took action. I created marketing materials on my signature talks, and added people to my team to help build a speaking platform. I began searching out speaking opportunities, and quickly found several that could be perfect for what I had to offer. Soon – I would begin applying to speak all over the country.
Because the how really is never the problem.
So I can’t wait to see what my client does with the conversation we had, too.
I totally expect her prices to increase – as they need to, the quality and commitment of her clients to get even better, and her confidence to grow.
Because the soul of her business will not let her rest until she does.
Now – what about you?
What message are you getting over and over again?
Leave a comment below – I’d love to know.
When are you going to give yourself permission to do what you know you want to anyway?