Category Archives: Self Esteem

Stop Apologizing (Be. Who. You. Are.)

Photo Credit: Alessandro Valli on Flickr

Be who you are.

I wrote this a long time ago. Recently, I’ve realized how much of an issue this continues to be for so many people I know. I see this most often in my women clients, but I have also felt it myself. I see it in entrepreneurs and I see in those who could never imagine owning a business. Seems like it’s time to share it with you again. Continue reading

The Story Behind the Story: Why Confidence Is My Word of the Year

We all have our issues. :)

And when my Word of the Year showed up, it pointed out one of my own that I didn’t even realize I had.

I wrote about that experience a while back, about how when this word first showed up in my awareness I argued with it.

Because the word was “confidence”, something I really didn’t think I needed! I mean, heck, I’ve been on the planet for a long time. I’ve done a lot of things in my life, and you’d think, by now, I’d have that end of things figured out. Right?!

And I know that sometimes, it even looks that way to you.

But the truth is we all struggle with this in some way. And it doesn’t matter how old you are, how long you’ve been in business, how much you’ve achieved… Confidence is a fragile thing – especially for business owners.

So I thought I’d share a little about what I’ve realized about this for myself, and see if this could help you as well.



Click on the video above to get the rest of the story. :))

And if you’d like more videos like this, I’d love to know. Add your thoughts to the comments below. And if you think this could help someone else, please share.
And thanks.

Allowing Your Word to Find You

It’s your word.

And it’s all you need.

ONE word to lean in to, work with, listen to, learn from – for the entire year.

One word to guide you and your business into what you are called to Be over the next year.

One word to use as your North Star, as you navigate your way through what are often murky entrepreneurial waters.

And whatever it is, it’s looking for you.

When I first learned about this practice myself, I didn’t really understand it. I liked the simplicity of it…but had no idea how to find ‘my word’, nor how powerful that word would become.

So at first, it was just about logic.

I carefully considered my business goal for the year, and chose words to fit that.

That first year, it was “Deliberate”. I wanted to consciously and deliberately grow the business I had (back then) in a way that was profitable, manageable, and good for those it served.

And I did spend that year working on systems, but the ‘deliberate’ act that defined it was something else entirely. At the very end of the year, I made a significant investment (that is, a terrifying and exciting leap) into myself and my business that I’d never made before by hiring the coach I have now.

That was a big, scary, step – and definitely a ‘deliberate’ action.

But it sure wasn’t what I expected when I chose that word. Continue reading

How to Handle Criticism – and Protect Your Confidence

Photo Credit: Eugene Zemlyanskiy on Flickr

She’d been fired.

When I read my client’s update, I winced. She’d lost her biggest account, and it hurt – both her intended budget for the year, and her heart.

She was a professional, so she took it in stride. But she felt awful, and I knew it.

There could be any number of reasons why her client quit, and we reviewed several. Perhaps she wasn’t clear enough about her expectations. Perhaps she went a little too fast. Perhaps they didn’t understand the real value of what she did for them.

Perhaps she was just a little ‘too much’, a little too intense. 

Boy, could I relate.

I, too, have often been told I was “too intense”. Continue reading

How to Cope When You (Really) Screw Up

Photo Credit – greg westfall on Flickr

I never saw her again.

And although I no longer remember her name, I’ve never forgotten her.

I’d only been in private practice for a little while, though I’d worked in mental health for a long time. Back then, I did a lot of counseling around trauma, abuse and domestic violence.

I already had a ton of experience; (I thought) I knew what I was doing.

One evening, at the end of a long day, I did an initial consult with a woman who’d finally gathered her nerve to seek help. She was living with severe domestic violence, married to a man who sounded like he could kill her one day if she didn’t get out.

I was immensely proud of her for having the courage to come in, and I understood her situation immediately. After hearing her story, I felt crystal clear on the level of danger she was in. I knew what she needed to do to get out.

So I laid it all out for her.

With the kind of excitement that comes with clarity, I explained how to put a safety plan in place, what to say to him (and what not to), how to handle her employer, how to seek legal help, how to move out, all of it.

She listened politely as I gave her every idea I could think of. Then she thanked me, and left. I felt great — I knew I could help her!

But she never came back.

To this day, I don’t know what happened. It may be that she found a way out, that she went to another counselor, that she was just fine. I certainly hope so.

But I think I made a mistake that night – and it was a big one.
Continue reading