Category Archives: Self Esteem

How to Handle Criticism – and Protect Your Confidence

Photo Credit: Eugene Zemlyanskiy on Flickr

She’d been fired.

When I read my client’s update, I winced. She’d lost her biggest account, and it hurt – both her intended budget for the year, and her heart.

She was a professional, so she took it in stride. But she felt awful, and I knew it.

There could be any number of reasons why her client quit, and we reviewed several. Perhaps she wasn’t clear enough about her expectations. Perhaps she went a little too fast. Perhaps they didn’t understand the real value of what she did for them.

Perhaps she was just a little ‘too much’, a little too intense. 

Boy, could I relate.

I, too, have often been told I was “too intense”. Continue reading

How to Cope When You (Really) Screw Up

Photo Credit – greg westfall on Flickr

I never saw her again.

And although I no longer remember her name, I’ve never forgotten her.

I’d only been in private practice for a little while, though I’d worked in mental health for a long time. Back then, I did a lot of counseling around trauma, abuse and domestic violence.

I already had a ton of experience; (I thought) I knew what I was doing.

One evening, at the end of a long day, I did an initial consult with a woman who’d finally gathered her nerve to seek help. She was living with severe domestic violence, married to a man who sounded like he could kill her one day if she didn’t get out.

I was immensely proud of her for having the courage to come in, and I understood her situation immediately. After hearing her story, I felt crystal clear on the level of danger she was in. I knew what she needed to do to get out.

So I laid it all out for her.

With the kind of excitement that comes with clarity, I explained how to put a safety plan in place, what to say to him (and what not to), how to handle her employer, how to seek legal help, how to move out, all of it.

She listened politely as I gave her every idea I could think of. Then she thanked me, and left. I felt great — I knew I could help her!

But she never came back.

To this day, I don’t know what happened. It may be that she found a way out, that she went to another counselor, that she was just fine. I certainly hope so.

But I think I made a mistake that night – and it was a big one.
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The One Thing You Must Protect – No Matter What

“I told my friend what you said…”

Uh oh. I always hold my breath when a client says something like this. What did I say this time?

“I told her about my new packages, and how you said I need to raise my rates.”

Oh. That. Well then.

“She didn’t think that was such a good idea…”

Of course she didn’t, I thought to myself. That’s why she’s not your coach.

And I set about working to repair the damage to my client’s confidence.
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Getting Clear is a Messy Business

Well – that was fun.

Recently, a small but intimate group of entrepreneurs gathered for my Love Your Business, Love Your Life Vision-Board Workshop. For one entire day, they gave themselves the gift of time.

Time to think.

Time to dream.

Time to imagine what was possible for their business – and what that could mean for their lives.

Their decision – to set aside sacred time to be intentional about what they want – has already begun the transformation that I know they are about to experience.
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How A Mistake Led to My Best Year Ever

Remember that story about Peter walking on water?

As I remember it, the story goes something like this.

Peter was on a boat, bouncing along on the stormy, wind-tossed waves of a great big lake. The weather was rough, and he was spooked.

He sees his friend, Jesus, walking towards him on the water, and now he’s really spooked.

But Jesus calls out and tells him to quit worrying so much, to just step over the edge of the boat and come on over. On the water that is. As if it were nothing.

And he did.

Peter clambered right on over the edge of that boat and just started walking. I’ll don’t think he even took his life vest. :)

It’s fun to imagine what he must have thought…
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